Dating is tricky at the best of times but when it’s online, things can be even more confusing.
If you’re making matches on Tinder but finding that the conversation isn’t flowing well or that women are ghosting you quite soon after chat starts, take a look at these top ten things to avoid when you’re trying to meet a romantic partner on Tinder.
1 – Don’t call her babe, sweetie, honey or darling
You don’t know her yet. It doesn’t come across as warm or kind; it comes across as creepy. Once you get to know her in person, then pet names are usually fine!
2 – Don’t “hey” her
A lot of men begin the chat with a “hey” which I suspect is how they greet their buddies when they’re talking via text. It takes more than that to capture women’s attention! Try something more creative and ask an open-ended question so she has to think of an answer.
3 – Be honest about your physical appearance
A lot of men add inches to their height when there’s absolutely no need to. And if she’s going to quibble because you’re not exactly 6 feet tall…well, are you interested in that level of shallowness really?
4 – Don’t harass her if she doesn’t respond
After an attempt or two, just leave it. She’s either busy or has changed her mind. If she’s busy, then she’ll come back to you when she’s got time.
5 – Keep it light
Don’t grill her about her ambitions, career or past relationships. Keep things easy and discuss things you might have in common but which are more neutral such as sports, TV shows and local events.
6 – Do not send nudes
It’s not ok. In fact it’s already been made illegal in Texas and it’s now known as “cyberflashing” because it’s no different to getting your bits out in a dirty back alley and showing them to a passing woman…and you’d never do that would you?
7 – Don’t show pictures of you with babies or other women
Even if it’s your sister or your niece. Women will generally scroll past those profiles – rightly or wrongly, they’re going to assume you’re already in a relationship or still stuck on a past one. Choose a picture of you with an animal or alone.
8 – Don’t list dealbreakers
Those are yours to deal with and yours alone. It’s fine to have boundaries, in fact it’s preferable. But if you have a list of things you won’t countenance in a partner, putting them up on your profile makes you seem negative. Work out if your potential dates fit your bill and then decide whether or not to date them.
Tinder is a competitive arena. There’s always someone else grabbing the attention but if you’re honest and wholly yourself when you’re posting, you’ll stand far more chance of being successful.
Maybe that’s advice that Sean Rad, one-time CEO of Tinder himself could have done with hearing when he got into trouble for the way he dealt with Whitney Wolfe Herd’s problems at Tinder some years back.
At the time, Wolfe Herd was working alongside Rad and also Just Mateen – the three were co-founders of Tinder and had a lot to do with its early successes.
But things went awry when Wolfe Herd and Mateen broke up. They’d been dating but things ended and Mateen took it badly.
When he called Wolfe Herd a “whore” at a work event, Rad failed to stand up for her either personally or professionally.
He later lost his position as CEO and went on to make many more mistakes in the public arena. Interviews like this one didn’t help!